It is lovely! But I have a few things to share. Firstly, if you are writing ‘I would just like to request’ you don’t need to add a ‘you’. Secondly, when you are writing ‘join me on my birthday party’ you need to replace the ‘on’ with ‘during’ (unless you are writing ‘join me on my birthday).

Good

Very good jishitha 👍🏻

Excellent!!

excellent !!